The Missing

I'm not sure if I've talked about Mystery on this thing. I just can't recall, but he's the guy who I dated for a couple years, who I moved to LA for, and who broke my heart. It wasn't all his fault I know, but it still broke all the same. We wanted different things blah blah...the usual. And I don't miss the relationship. I mean, I wouldn't get back together with him...not even after all this time. We still want different thing.
I do miss the friendship though. I do miss the love. Now, I could rattle on and on about the things I don't miss with Mystery and trust me the list would be long, but he was my best friend and if his feelings were real, which I hope they were since mine were, then it was great. It's been a long time we've been apart now. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime considering everything I've been thru since then. But, as I was saying, I don't want to be with him. I don't miss being in a relationship with him...I miss the warmth he gave me.
I miss having someone to love and someone who loves me. A lot of people want to be in relationships for different reasons. They want security, they want someone so they won't be alone, they want someone to fix their toilet when it breaks. I like to think I've never wanted to be with someone for those reasons. I want to be with someone because I want to share myself with someone. I have almost forgotten what it feels like to be that intertwined with someone. To know what someone else is thinking. To care about someone else before yourself. To put someone else first; not out of fear but out of caring.
I miss knowing that to someone else I'm important. It's different with your family. Of course I know my family thinks I'm important to them, but they're the best family in the world so that's a given. I mean, to just one person on the whole entire planet, your specific happiness is what matters all the time. Yes, once again my parents would say my happiness is what matters to them all the time, but to anyone who knows what I'm talking about...you know what I mean.
I don't know anymore. I don't miss Mystery...I don't really. I don't try and talk to him because I don't see the point. The past is the past, right? All I'm saying, is that what I want is to feel that love again. Not with Mystery...but with someone else...and maybe it'll even be better becasue maybe the next person won't be such a doucebag like Mystery was.